


What if There's Someone Else

by completelyuncreative2



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Mentions of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyuncreative2/pseuds/completelyuncreative2
Summary: Dan has been spending all of his free time at Phil's flat since he started university. When Dan goes out with his uni housemates, Phil can't get it out of his head that Dan might find someone better.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2020





	What if There's Someone Else

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fictropes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictropes/gifts).



Dan and Phil were sitting on the sofa at Phil’s flat. It was a Thursday night. Dan had spent pretty much every night and weekend at Phil’s flat since he started university, unless he was filming a YouTube video. Phil was flipping channels and finally stopped on some food show when Dan said, “I should probably stay at the uni house this weekend.”  
“Why?” Phil asked.  
“I haven’t really had a chance to get to know my housemates, and one of them mentioned that they were planning on going out Saturday for us to spend some time together.”  
“Oh.” Phil said.  
“Yeah, I just wanted to let you know, so you didn’t worry if I didn’t come by this weekend.”  
Phil didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded and turned back to the TV.

The next morning, Dan had class early, so he kissed Phil goodbye, and reminded him that he probably wouldn’t come around that weekend. Phil fell back to sleep after Dan left. He woke up around 11 and made himself a bowl of cereal. He didn’t pay attention to what box he picked up, but when he looked at it, he realized that Dan bought it. He missed Dan. It was stupid; Dan only left a few hours ago, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t ever going to see Dan again. It was only going to be a few days, maybe less. Phil didn’t have anything to do. He could’ve filmed a YouTube video, but he didn’t know what to film, and he really wasn’t in the right headspace for that anyway. Phil looked up and realized he left the cupboard open. Something Dan hated. Phil closed the cupboard. He spent the rest of the day doing other chores around the flat, so it would be clean when Dan came home. Not home, his flat. It isn’t Dan’s home, Phil had to keep reminding himself. 

Phil really needed to clean more often, by the time he finished, it was dinner time. He cooked dinner. Usually something he and Dan did together. Snap out of it, Phil thought, he didn’t go off to war. He’s just going to a bar. A bar with people his own age, who are probably much cooler than me. Phil’s thoughts were spiraling. He needed a distraction, but everything reminded him of Dan. Phil finally went up to bed. Although, he couldn’t sleep. He spent the entire night in a half-dream state imagining some younger, hotter guy with Dan. This nameless man was obviously funnier than Phil, because Dan was laughing at everything he said instead of rolling his eyes like he usually did when Phil made a joke. The man leaned in for a kiss, but Phil woke up before anything actually happened. When Phil processed everything and realized it was just a dream, he also realized he was tangled in his duvet. He must have been tossing and turning all night.

Phil spent the morning on the sofa browsing Tumblr and YouTube. He realized it had been a while since he made a video. He still didn’t really have any ideas, but he could always film a Q&A. He didn’t really want to ask for question on Twitter though, because there was a very good chance this video would never see the light of day, and he didn’t want people wondering what happened. He looked through some old at replies on Twitter. Then he looked through comments on his older videos. While he was doing this he noticed that Dan had the top comment on almost all of them. It was so strange to see. Phil could barely picture a 17 year old Dan sitting in his bedroom commenting on Phil’s videos and replying to almost all of his tweets, thinking that he and Phil would never meet. Phil couldn’t imagine his life without Dan now, even though it had been less than a year since they consummated their relationship. Phil gave up on trying to get questions for a YouTube video. He went turned the TV on to try to distract himself, but it wasn’t working. Phil must have fallen asleep at some point, because he woke up and it was dark outside. Phil picked up his phone from the coffee table and checked the time. 9:02. Dan would probably be heading out to the bar with his housemates around now. The dream from the previous night kept going around in Phil’s head. Phil decided he would go to the bar where Dan was. Phil never even got dressed that morning. He figured he would do it right before he started filming, but that clearly never happened. Phil brushed his teeth, got dressed, and put his coat on. Then he headed to the bus stop to go into town.

About twenty minutes later, Phil was walking to the bar that he knew all of the University of Manchester students went to. When he got there, he felt really out of place as an almost 23 year old, surrounded by mostly 18 and 19 year olds. He spotted Dan leaning against the wall in the corner of the bar holding a beer. He was about to walk over to him. When the guy Phil saw in his dream walked over to Dan. The guy was holding a beer too, and when he got to Dan he leaned over Dan and put his other hand against the wall. Phil wasn’t in earshot, so he didn’t know what the guy was saying, but Dan didn’t look happy about this guy talking to him. In fact, Dan almost looked scared. Phil couldn’t picture what Dan looked like as a timid 17 year old, but now he didn’t have to. He could see it with his own eyes. Phil walked over to where Dan was. He was in earshot of the conversation now. The guy was asking all the standard questions a person asks when they’re trying to get to know someone: what’s your major, where are you from. But the guy clearly wasn’t getting the hint that Dan wasn’t interested with his one word answers. Phil was close enough for Dan to notice him now, but he was just out of eyesight of the guy talking to Dan. When Dan did notice him, he said, “Phil? What are you doing here?” The guy turned around and looked at Phil. He was angry. “Is this your boyfriend?” He asked Dan in an aggravated tone. “Yes” Phil said at the same time that Dan said “No.” The guy looked back and forth at the two of them a couple of times before mumbling a “whatever” and storming off. Phil looked at Dan. Dan looked like he finally processed what just happened, but Phil was already walking out. How could he be so stupid? Of course Dan wasn’t going to say he had a boyfriend to a guy flirting with him. Phil heard Dan tell him to wait, but he didn’t. He kept walking and didn’t look back. Phil walked back to the bus stop with his head down. Phil’s face still felt hot, and the cool autumn air wasn’t helping as much as he’d expected it to. He didn’t want anyone to see the tears pooling in his eyes. He tried to will them back in his head, but once he got on the bus, he let the tears spill over. When he got back to his flat, he slammed the door behind him, probably disturbing his neighbors, but he wasn’t thinking about anything other than Dan saying no when someone asked if Phil was his boyfriend.

Phil flopped onto the sofa, and finally let himself really cry. When he couldn’t cry anymore, he went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. When he went back into the lounge, Dan was there. He had forgotten that Dan had a key. “What are you doing here?” Phil asked.  
Dan opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Phil had regained his composure, and said “You should go back to your uni house. Leave the key.”  
“Phil…”  
Phil waited. Dan looked like he was on the verge of tears himself.  
“Phil, I”m sorry.”  
“For what, Dan? You said I wasn’t your boyfriend, and now I’m not."  
Dan’s lip trembled. “Phil, no. I didn’t mean it.”  
“How could you not mean that?”  
Dan took a deep breath. “Phil no one knows that I have a boyfriend. No one even knows that I’m not straight.”  
“Then why was that guy flirting with you?”  
“I’ve never seen him before. I don’t even know if he goes to the University of Manchester, but if he does, I don’t want him to be the one to tell people. I want to do it on my own terms."  
Phil ran a hand over his face and through his hair. “Ok”  
“Ok?  
“I get it. Coming out is hard. Just because I did it at 18 doesn’t mean everyone else can or should.”  
“So you forgive me?”  
“Yes, but we need to talk in the morning. Let’s go to bed.”  
“Dan nodded, and both men walked up to the bedroom.

The next morning, Phil was already at the kitchen table when Dan came down. “Hi,” Dan said. He already looked like he was ready to cry.  
“Hi”  
“So, should we continue this awkward small talk?” Phil didn’t respond. “Phil, I’m so sorry about last night. I wasn’t thinking, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”  
“I know. It’s just that when your at uni, you’re around all these people who are your age. I keep thinking that you are going to find someone better than me.”  
“Phil…”  
Phil held his hand up. “I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it.” His voice cracked as he finished. The tears that he thought he had cried last night came back. Which seemed to set off a chain reaction, as Dan was now crying too despite what appeared to be his best efforts to stop himself from crying since he came into the kitchen. Phil got up and pulled Dan into his arms, and stroked his hair. The action seemed to be enough because Dan then started laughing. “What?” Phil asked.  
Dan wiped his eyes. He was smiling, but it was a sad smile. “This is ridiculous. I should be the one comforting you.”  
“No you shouldn’t.”  
“Yes, I should. I was the one who was a complete dick last night.”  
“You’re not a dick, Dan.”  
“Yes, I am. I was a dick to that guy…”  
“You definitely weren’t a dick then. If either of you were a dick, it was him.”  
“How was he a dick?  
Phil stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “By continuing to aggressively flirt with someone who obviously wasn’t interested…"  
“Wait, you knew I wasn’t interested?”  
“Of course.  
“Then what were you so upset about?”  
Phil felt his face heat up. “I don’t know. I was so in my own head, and I kept thinking that there was someone else. Someone who was better for you than me…"  
“There’s no one better.”  
“Of course there is. Someone funnier. Someone more attractive...”  
“Phil. I don’t care about that. You are the best person for me.”  
“How do you know? I’m the only guy you’ve dated. How do you even know what type of guys you're attracted to?”  
“I’m attracted to guys with black hair and blue eyes, who have a really strange sense of humor that still makes me laugh, who will go out at 9:00 at night to make a guy who can’t take a hint fuck off.”  
Phil laughed. “Ok. I get it.”  
“Good. “Phil?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you trust me?” Phil didn’t answer. “I need you to trust me. I’m not always going to be with you, and I can’t stop people from flirting with me, but I promise I’m not going to flirt back. I love you Phil. I’m not ready to tell the world yet, but I do.”  
“I love you too, Dan. And yes, I trust you. As for telling the world, take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.” Dan and Phil kissed.


End file.
